Schools’ almost over, at least for the summer. I have many things to do and turn-in before I can call it quits and go home to visit my family and friends for a couple of weeks. I am so looking forward to being done with the quarter. It’s been hard work. So much homework. I have enjoyed working in my Typography class but the Ancient Art and The Sex & The Family class have been pretty boring and not classes that I would have chosen to take if I had the option to not take any of the academic classes.
Today I need to write one essay for a final project and 3 other essays for practice. Oh well, it should go by quickly and then I can take a break for a while. I hope to get a summer job at school and then I’ll be able to pay my rent. Here’s one of the projects I have been working on. This is the only thing I really enjoy about school, are my graphic design classes.
God, I was really stressing on this midterm because I have a 68% in this Ancient Art class. Which means I need .2% to get a passing grade, a “C.” The class is not built very well for my style of learning. It is a lecture class and we have to memorize a lot of things. Like we get about 40 flashcards a week and then get tested on them. Having to remember names, dates and locations out of forty, obscure objects isn’t my favorite thing to do. Yet I am getting 2 “A’s” in my other classes. I really hope I get a good grade on this midterm, so I do not get put on Academic Probation.
I’m free! Yesterday was my last college course for the spring semester. I’ve taken all my finals and gone to all my classes. Now I have three weeks until my summer class starts. I think I did well in my classes. I struggled through my math class but overall I think I came out with “B’s” in both of my classes. If not “B’s” then I came out with high “C’s” which would be a slight bit of disappointment, but it’s more important that I passed my math class. I’m just so glad I’m done with them and that I completed them to the best of my ability. I will never have to take another math class again unless I decide to try to get a college degree at a California State college. So I’m grateful that I am going to a class which is out-of-state, in Portland, Oregon. I am looking forward with trepidation to see what my final grades will be. I had a hard time with the math final, which might bring my grade down a bit but other than that I did well on all the exams and homework.
Now I can look forward to doing some fun things in the summer. For example, next week I will be going to a wedding with my boyfriend and his family. I might go on a rafting trip and I’d like to go backpacking in the Sierra Mountains with my boyfriend and my family. Plus I would like to start going to more AA meetings and going to the gym more often. Which I will be able to do since I will have more time on my hands.
Today is my birthday. I am feeling “old” because I am turning 36 which seems old to me. I never thought that it would take me this long to get my education but I consider myself a returning adult at college. I don’t like to admit it, but I feel old because I lost a lot of years when I was in my addiction. I actively was using for about fifteen years of my life. During that time I struggled to go to school and keep a job. My younger brother already has his Bachelor’s degree and he is ten years younger than me. So sometimes it’s kind of embarrassing to admit how old I am when I am talking about going to college, but getting my degree is something I have always been very passionate about. And I will hopefully never let drugs and alcohol get in the way of that again.
Today I am cramming for my math final. There are only two days left of school and then it’s summer vacation. At 2 p.m. today I have an appointment with my tutor and I hope that she can help me finis
h learning more about how to do these equations that contain logarithms. I used the “Khan Academy” site online yesterday which actually helped me understand the basics of logarithms. But I am still having some trouble with the longer and more complicated equations. I always thought that I was pretty good at math until we got to this last part in the algebra textbook. It is the end of the book and I am surprised that throughout the semester we made it through the whole entire math textbook. We covered quite a lot of information and I am hoping that I can retain most of everything we learned. I’m thankful that the teacher is allowing us to use a 3×5″ card with notes on it for the exam.
Once the math final is over I will feel like I am finally free of worrying about school. I am only taking one class this summer and the rest of the time I will use to get ready to move out-of-state and get signed up for school at PSU. Also I would like to start going to the gym everyday and go to more AA meetings. I miss talking to my friends there. Plus I will be working on getting scholarships and grants for school on the fall. But for now I am literally counting down the hours till my math final. Until then I am super busy and will be spending each spare minute I have on studying for the math final. Wish me luck, I am going to need all the help I can get.
I love my family so much and they have been so supportive of me and my schooling I am so grateful to have them in my life. I am hoping to go to a university up in Portland, Oregon and they are totally supportive of it. I’m looking forward to moving out of the state and sometimes I feel anxious because it’s such a far move.
I would say it’s a 12 hour drive and a 1 hour flight to Portland from where we live now. But my mom said she looks forward to coming up and visiting us, which makes me happy. I have the best family ever and I regret if I’ve ever said anything bad about them. I just realized how lucky I am and how much I should be grateful for them. But that is just the roller coaster of emotions I’m on right now with my finals at school. I hate finals week. I feel worried that I’m not going to pass my classes and I want to show them that I can and will get good grades.
An Example of Logarithms
I am pretty much gonna say this math exam was a toss up and that I pretty much got an “F”. Which calculates into getting half of the questions right. It was super difficult for me. Right now we are studying logarithms which is the last part of my algebra class and I have to admit that I have no idea what is going on. To me it seems like a lot of the other students also did not know what to do too. Which to me means the teacher is not teaching us very good.
I am not going to continue to complain about the teacher but I have to admit I do have some personal issues about her teaching methods. This is one of the reasons I have a tutor, but with the tutor it is still hard for me to learn how to do the logarithms. I am hoping that by next Monday when I see my tutor again that I will have a better handle on this. I can’t wait for school to be over The last final I will have will be on May 23rd, which is a day before my birthday.
Today my boyfriend and I went shopping for my early birthday present and he bought me a really nice vaporizer. Which you can read and see more on my other site “sonomacountyvaping“. It is a machine that you use to smoke a liquid juice that has nicotine in it which can help you to stop smoking. It is a nice vape and it was expensive. I am so happy and satisfied with it that I will be using it all the time.
I am trying to get along better with my family and have them not get mad at me, but for some reason they all seem to be pissed off at me for no reason, especially my dad and my brother. My mom is nice to in front of my face. But I think that is because I am trying to help clean up around the house a little bit. Like washing and putting away the dishes, folding their clothes and putting them away in their room. And basically just trying to stay out of their way. We will see how it goes but that’s pretty much all I can do at the moment I don’t know how else I can help out around the house. I think my dad is just generally upset right now because he is not getting much business for his architect firm and my poor brother is just sick of living here at the house and having nothing better to do than go bicycling. He is training to go pro. I can understand what they are going through so I am just going to try to be nice to everyone and not get upset or act mean to anyone. I will not be mean to them even if they are nasty or mean back to me.
I am on my way to an AA, Alcoholic Anonymous, meeting today and then I am going to the gym. I have not had any time to go to the gym this week because I have been rigorously studying for my exams, finals and final projects for the end of the semester. I am desperately trying to pull my grades up so that I will get a solid “B” in both classes. Right now I am teetering on the edge of an “D” in one class and that is making me freak out. I have tried to get ahold of the teacher and he is not responding back to me. I will have to just keep bugging him and look like I am desperate because that is what it has come down to. It is really frustrating and I know the teachers are very busy during this time to but I need some extra help too. Which I know they would be so gracious to do if I am persistent and ask nicely. I used to think I wanted to be a college professor but now I am thinking it might just be really hard work.
I am having a really hard time lately. I am spending quite a lot of time cramming for math homework. And trying to teach myself the equations and stuff. God it’s pretty hard work when you are doing it by yourself. I get really stressed out and so I have been going to a lot of AA, Alcoholic Anonymous meetings, because I am trying to ground myself and remember what’s really important in life which is my sobriety and my health. Although getting good grades is pretty high up there on my priority list. I do really miss hanging out with my boyfriend but I think he’s mad at me because I said I needed time to study and then I was going to meetings and blogging instead of studying 24/7.
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