Waiting For Summer Class

There are definitely a lot of things to do while I wait for my summer class to start. I have been waiting and preparing to move up north to go to a university in the fall. Since I have never been to a university I am feeling a lot of trepidation about going. But I believe it will be a fun experience and nice to live in a big beautiful city. I have visited Portland a few times and I really loves the city. Most of the months out of the year it is rainy and cold but I like that kind of weather and I hope I can be prepared to live there with enough rain equipment and stuff to stay warm when it gets cold.

My boyfriend is now busy working full time and is unavailable for most of the day so I miss him but he is saving money up for when we move which is a good idea. One thing I am worried about is paying bills because I am worried that I will not be able to afford to bring my car up there because my car insurance is so expensive.

Also I am wondering how my JC classes will transfer to the school because I would like to go for the Bachelor’s of Science as opposed to the Bachelor’s of Arts. I heard from the Dean of the Graphic Design Department that the more artsy classes lead to a BA whereas the BS degree are the more technical classes and will be using more of the computer for doing graphic design. So I am hoping that when I go to school I will hopefully be using the computer more than doing the hands on art and cut and paste classes.

Portland , Oregon

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Fun Summer Break

I have been enjoying my summer break from school so much. Not to mention I have actually been following through with the things I said that I wanted to do, like going to the gym and going to more AA (alcoholics anonymous) meetings. Plus I’ve been getting to hang out and spend the night at my boyfriend’s house more often. At first I thought that he and I would get sick of each other, but we haven’t. We have spent every night together for about a week and I am just absolutely loving it. I can’t wait till he and I move in with each other when we move to Portland, Oregon.

Today I have already been to the gym this morning and in a few minutes I am headed to an AA meeting in the town I live in. Then after the meeting I am going out to coffee with a friend from the meeting. I hope to discuss with him how to improve my credit score because he is a former credit counselor and he will know a lot more about repairing bad credit than I will. I am 36 years old and I happened to ruin my credit score when I was younger and took advantage of credit cards and buying cell phones using my credit while I was still in my addiction.

I was worried that I was not going to have enough things to do while I was on summer break but I have to work on getting ready for the move to Portland and I also have to work on getting some scholarships and other school financial aid assistance. Since I will not be working while I will be going to school full time I am trying to get as much help as I can. Fortunately I did well and got good grades while I was at the Junior College that I was able to get a letter of recommendation from one of my former teachers for a scholarship

Siletz, Tribal Logo

and I feel very grateful for that. I am also working with my Native American Indian tribe which is going to help me with the tuition for school. I am so thankful for my background and my heritage knowing that I am part Native American has never been as beneficial as it is to me right now.

 

Summer Break & My Birthday

A+

I’m free! Yesterday was my last college course for the spring semester. I’ve taken all my finals and gone to all my classes. Now I have three weeks until my summer class starts. I think I did well in my classes. I struggled through my math class but overall I think I came out with “B’s” in both of my classes. If not “B’s” then I came out with high “C’s” which would be a slight bit of disappointment, but it’s more important that I passed my math class. I’m just so glad I’m done with them and that I completed them to the best of my ability. I will never have to take another math class again unless I decide to try to get a college degree at a California State college. So I’m grateful that I am going to a class which is out-of-state, in Portland, Oregon. I am looking forward with trepidation to see what my final grades will be. I had a hard time with the math final, which might bring my grade down a bit but other than that I did well on all the exams and homework.

Now I can look forward to doing some fun things in the summer. For example, next week I will be going to a wedding with my boyfriend and his family. I might go on a rafting trip and I’d like to go backpacking in the Sierra Mountains with my boyfriend and my family. Plus I would like to start going to more AA meetings and going to the gym more often. Which I will be able to do since I will have more time on my hands.

Birthday Cake

Today is my birthday. I am feeling “old” because I am turning 36 which seems old to me. I never thought that it would take me this long to get my education but I consider myself a returning adult at college. I don’t like to admit it, but I feel old because I lost a lot of years when I was in my addiction. I actively was using for about fifteen years of my life. During that time I struggled to go to school and keep a job. My younger brother already has his Bachelor’s degree and he is ten years younger than me. So sometimes it’s kind of embarrassing to admit how old I am when I am talking about going to college, but getting my degree is something I have always been very passionate about. And I will hopefully never let drugs and alcohol get in the way of that again.

I Love My Family

Oregon Map

I love my family so much and they have been so supportive of me and my schooling I am so grateful to have them in my life. I am hoping to go to a university up in Portland, Oregon and they are totally supportive of it. I’m looking forward to moving out of the state and sometimes I feel anxious because it’s such a far move.

I would say it’s a 12 hour drive and a 1 hour flight to Portland from where we live now. But my mom said she looks forward to coming up and visiting us, which makes me happy. I have the best family ever and I regret if I’ve ever said anything bad about them. I just realized how lucky I am and how much I should be grateful for them. But that is just the roller coaster of emotions I’m on right now with my finals at school. I hate finals week. I feel worried that I’m not going to pass my classes and I want to show them that I can and will get good grades.

I’ve Been Accepted To PSU

I have been tentatively waiting for a letter to arrive in the mail that says I’ve been accepted to Portland State University, in Oregon State, U. S. A. Yesterday finally I got an email from the school that says I am officially accepted into the college. It turns out that they are considered a green college and they send out their acceptance letters via email as a way to save paper. I like this idea as I am also somebody who likes to live a green life as much as possible and believes in sustainability. I live in a very liberal and hippie/yuppie-like town in Northern California. To say the least I was very excited when I got the information that I was accepted, I didn’t believe in myself that it was possible, even though I had friends and family telling me that it was probable. I guess I need to have more faith in myself and to give myself more credit for all the hard work I’ve been putting into school. I have a grade point average of 3.35 and have been on the Dean’s honor roll for two semesters in a row. I have also received scholarships and awards for excellence in graphic design.

I almost cried when I got the information that I was accepted. The first person I told was my dad and I love to be able to give him some good news. I love to be able to make my parents proud because it has been a rare thing in my life that I have been able to do things to show them that I am a capable person and worthwhile to be supported from them for so long in my life. I mean I am a little bit of a late bloomer considering I will be 36 coming up in a few weeks. I consider myself an adult, returning college student. Which is a humbling experience because most of the students I am in class with are younger than me. But at this point I am holding my pride back because I have nothing to lose, getting an education is on the top of my priority list and I cannot wait for two years to be up to get my bachelor’s degree. I will not let anything get in my way of pursuing my dream. After that I am hoping to get my Master’s Degree.

This is finally my time to shine, yay. I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes. I have been through so much trouble and tribulations in my young adult life that I deserve to have this great opportunity to go and finish my education. I have spent years in and out of jails and rehabs, lived on and off the streets and just basically a teenage and young adult hoodlum, committing crimes and supporting myself through illegal activities so that I could maintain an addiction to drugs in my life.

Now I am just worried that I have been given this wonderful opportunity that I am nervous that something is going to go wrong and I will not be able to complete this task. But I will take it like I have learned from the AA program “one day at a time, take it easy and this too shall pass.” So I will be also attending AA meetings when I move up there because that is who I consider to be my community, besides school, while I’m up there.  And this will be used as a way to not get to get too overwhelmed with everything else that is going to come along with the schooling, transferring, navigating a new city, and new friends. Also I am so lucky that my boyfriend is willing to move up there as well. He has wanted to move up there and so it happens to work out that we are moving in together. Which I am looking forward to having my best friend and lover with me on this new venture.

I feel so lucky to be able to go to a university no matter what my age, and through trials and tribulations in my life, I know I can do this and I deserve to have this opportunity which is a fantastic thing to have. I believe that everybody should have the ability to get an education. Getting an education is critical and very important to further your maturity and ability to support yourself in a viable career. So this is something that I am not going to take for granted. Especially at this stage in my life, I am very serious about becoming a graphic designer and pursuing my education and furthering my career in my life. So thank God I am so grateful I will be going to school, it will just be getting me closer and closer to accomplishing the goals of my life. I am living the dream baby! I think that education is the key to freedom.

Encyclopedia Books (from the olden days)

 

To Whom It May Concern

I am on my way to an AA, Alcoholic Anonymous, meeting today and then I am going to the gym. I have not had any time to go to the gym this week because I have been rigorously studying for my exams, finals and final projects for the end of the semester. I am desperately trying to pull my grades up so that I will get a solid “B” in both classes. Right now I am teetering on the edge of an “D” in one class and that is making me freak out. I have tried to get ahold of the teacher and he is not responding back to me. I will have to just keep bugging him and look like I am desperate because that is what it has come down to. It is really frustrating and I know the teachers are very busy during this time to but I need some extra help too. Which I know they would be so gracious to do if I am persistent and ask nicely. I used to think I wanted to be a college professor but now I am thinking it might just be really hard work.

I am having a really hard time lately. I am spending quite a lot of time cramming for math homework. And trying to teach myself the equations and stuff. God it’s pretty hard work when you are doing it by yourself. I get really stressed out and so I have been going to a lot of AA, Alcoholic Anonymous meetings, because I am trying to ground myself and remember what’s really important in life which is my sobriety and my health. Although getting good grades is pretty high up there on my priority list. I do really miss hanging out with my boyfriend but I think he’s mad at me because I said I needed time to study and then I was going to meetings and blogging instead of studying 24/7.

Alcoholics Anonymous Logo

 

Waiting For Acceptance Letter To University

I have applied for Portland State University in Oregon, U.S.A. I am so nervous about whether or not I got accepted. It has been a difficult process in finding out which classes are acceptably transferred out to an out-of-state system because I live in California. Therefore some of the classes that I took at my Junior College might not be applicable to their University standards, meaning I won’t get any credit for them when I get enrolled at PSU. Which is fine with me, I have been taking many classes for more than half of my life at the local junior college here in Sonoma County because I dropped out of regular college when I was 15 and did Independent study instead of going to regular classes at high school I took a variety of classes at the Santa Rosa Junior College and went to my high school once a week to turn in my homework to my Independent Study teacher.

The way I completed High School I feel like I learned a lot more than the regular public school kids did, but the one thing I did miss out was the socialization part. I did still have quite a few friends throughout my high school years but we mostly just hung out on the weekends because at the age of 16 I was already working a part-time job and was going to school at the college and enrolled in my Independent Study Program, so I was pretty busy.

As a result, I was the one of my friends that always had money because I had a job. So we would go to the City, San Francisco, and go to parties and raves and concerts. It was very fun and I felt so carefree at the time. Plus I had an older boyfriend who had a car and was able to drive us around. We went to the beach a lot too and would go camping and stuff like that. At least that’s what we told our parents when we would actually be going to the City and party our asses of all night long. I could go on and on about this but the party never stopped for me and I ended up hanging out with a tougher group of people after high school and started to get into things I shouldn’t have been doing at such a young age, and I stopped going to school. So that is why it has taken me such a long time to get my college degree. But finally by this summer I will have two degrees, one in graphic design and one in humanities. I am really looking forward to it. But most of all I just really want to get accepted by Portland State University. Then after two years I will hopefully get my B.A. and then I will be able to get a job in graphic design. And live in a beautiful place in Northern Oregon.